Paper bags and movie-goers

So yesterday I went and payed $18 to see Prince Caspian at the El Capitan theatre in Hollywood. The movie was pretty good, but the whole thing was deflated by this crazyass annoying lady sitting next to me. I thought that the biggest problem-makers in movies were children, but this woman must've been in her forties and she was pissing. me. off.
I knew I was in for it when she first sat down and elbowed be three times trying to get the lid off her popcorn-bucket. Everytime something happened to a good character, she'd go "awww!!!" or applaud when something good happened. She had endless conversation through the whole film with either her three children or whoever was on the other end of her phone (she was on the phone about three times throughout). She stepped on my feet when she got excited and spilled popcorn all over the floor. She asked ME questions during the beginning ("what did I miss?" or "Was there a show before the movies started?") She bounced around in her seat like a 3-year-old during every battle, gasped as loud as humanly possible, insulted the antagonists and cheered the protagonists all aloud and repetetively.
This was the best part of it all: during a part of the movie with rising tension, she kept saying to her kids and to the film "Oh, the lion's going to come!" "When will the lion get here?" or "Here comes the lion, I know it. He'll save them" and then turned to her son and asked, "Who's Aslan?" FUCKING STUPID BITCH!
I feel bad for my brother because he could hear a little bit of her, but had to deal with me leaning on him mostly for the whole movie because my space had been aggressively invaded.

I understand that people get excited for movies; half the theatre applauded when the stupid lion showed up or when the enemies were defeated. But I mean, c'mon, you can't be that stupid to not realize that other people can hear you. And these other people payed a lot of money for this experience.
I wish I had been able to say something to her, but she seemed like one of those creatures that gets fired up when you kindly say, "shut the fuck up," so the problem would have been worse.
Anywho, that's my rant. I'm done now.

And I finished this just a few moments ago. Fun and easy. It's good to get some art out quickly. Refreshing.


And this was earlier this week to go along with my nonfiction piece called "Bible of Cinema." Everything in it that I condoned as holy was broken by the crazy bitch at Prince Caspian. Irony sucks sometimes.